Learning and being content and being grateful. I dont know how often i will myself to be grateful, its a lot. I dont know how being grateful and trying to be content works for me. Because being grateful has to do with being content with what you have. And when you have everything in the world, but feel completely unable to do anything at all with what you have, than it just feels like hell.
During the fall of Rath Northans Empire the lost souls caught wind of an uprising.
This is Story is about the destruction of the world and the chaos that ensued.
A log of events. People and places, found in the aftermath.
-My name is Rinse and I’m sorry to say this but I am your worst nightmare. A Ghoul, an invader, an imposter. I am a Noobian, maybe you’ve heard of my planet– Noob…
-With the absence of harl marng the world changed. What happened? Grief and loss and suffering. The anger of the Gods can never restore what has been lost.
No longer do farmers sow in the spring. No longer do hunters hunt in the Great Forrests.
The world has turned into a killing field.
-The falls of grishfaylar are frozen this winter and the progress of the people has slowed to a halt. The mill of hansmoran is frozen and Aunt Bessie’s cow wont milk. My name is PewPew and I am seeking help for my people…
-Here now my pupils, the time is ripe to strike. The Pylons at the edge of the edge of the world must fall, who is with me?
-THE SIFTING is nothing without hope great captain. The Effusees have left us.
– With the fall of silem the query is lost, we are doomed.
SIGNING OFF, DECEMBER.
Its 4 in the AM on Wednesday and im wide awake… Sleep has a way of evading me. Im up and my mind is racing and im struggling with my thoughts( and i remember a councilor i had in rehab saying Chris, Thoughts are Thoughts, nothing more)and it helps because I realize, like i did in that moment, that sometimes all the crazy and all the turmoil of life dont mean a “got dern” thing when I dont feed into it…
It’s been a long Christmas holiday. A thanksgiving feast and then a cold December. Some presents and food. I feel blessed… I also feel pressed. Hard pressed. The weight of life and the residual after effects of depression and anxiety… I feel content today and then tomorrow feels like the heavy hangover. Like depression and anxiety are right on my heels.
I guess it’s getting better. It often time is, and other times isn’t.
I want to spend my time on this earth well. What a concept.
IN OTHER NEWS
In my absence I’ve also been more or less concerned with the general well being of my Fantasy Football team. And now that the season is over, I thought it might be good to shed some light on the fact that although Ryan Wheeler dominated the second half of the season, some us hung on to our wins with little to no margin for error, and others went into each game like lambs being led to the slaughter… It is good to remember that there is always next year and I for one plan to bring down the pain… like a plague.
Here are the final standings.
- Team Much Success (Ryan Wheeler) 8 – 5 – 0
- GOOBER NATION (Chris Fisher) 8 – 5 – 0
- Team Pocket (John Fisher) 8 – 5 – 0
- Straight Outta Gronkton (Joel LaCount) 9 – 4 – 0
- Church League Fistfight (Austin O’Kelly) 7 – 6 – 0
- First Down Syndrom (Mike De La Cruz) 7 – 6 -0
- Beard Town Mountain Goats (Brandon Querin) 7 – 6 – 0
- Team Chapman (Stephen Chapman) 2 – 11- 0
- Team FishNuts (Jordan Fisher) 5 – 8 – 0
- Holdin Magroin’ (Jordan Crook) 4 – 9 – 0
Anyway, good weekend and Happy Holidays and Happy New Year 2018.
Sometimes at the end of the night and early on into the morning, you feel the heavy storm on the horizon, and the heavy storm is your heart. And its the way you have always changed like the way things never stay the same.
Maybe problems and setbacks are a constant in life. The only thing that rings true every time you wake up is the depression that waits to stomp out your fire. Or the Anxiety that haunts every move you make. Or the Anger that seems relentless when everything is falling apart. Or the Confusion that comes with loss.
Maybe the difference between “stuck” and “making it,” is you. It’s the small decisions you make everyday to change your life. It’s the I’m not gonna yell today when I get angry. Or anxiety is kicking my butt right now and I’m freaking out, but I’ll take those deep breaths and keep moving. It’s the I don’t feel like getting out of bed today, but instead I’ll get up and do some chores, it’s the I’ll like your post even though I hate you. It’s the I’ll make this life better, both for me and for you even during the struggle.
Maybe this message has gotten old, maybe positivity feels like the dull drum that plays on repeat in the background. It has gotten old and it is the dull drum. But today is a new day and so is tomorrow. So take measures right now and keep yourself together. If you do one thing, only one thing that keeps your mind together that keeps you sober that gets you through this next moment. Than that’s enough.
When life falls apart, put yourself back together. Trust in God. The One who has had your back so many times before, even when you couldn’t notice.
Comma Central as a working title… ?
Steps. Steps. Steps. Taking those steps. Keep taking ’em. Keep trying, keep etching the borders of blueprints, keep making the next day your best day yet, soon it will be your best day ever and the best week ever and the best month ever and then it will be the best life ever.
Today, for me, feels monumental. It’s the place between learning the equation and solving it.
Raise your hand if your coming up around the corner of 5th and over-it.
It feel like life is hard master. And your a Hebrew slave trying to figure out how to deal with the oppression of 100s of years of slavery. And that’s how depression feels for you today. Waking up with a cloud over your head, sending down lightning and fire from the sky over your day.
Can the real moses please stand up? You know what im saying you know whay i mean?
It’s like your wandering in the wilderness, because the past 37 years of wandering haven’t taught you to trust God. It’s like your belief in a God was contingent upon romanticizing the idea of a God who would save you out of Egypt. Now that you are in all actuality saved, you cannot seem to grasp the goodness of the real God working on your behalf.
The mysterious God made manifest is hard to come to grips with. Moses will tell you that his brother Aaron will tell you that. Both men examples of servants used by God to express his will and plans for the people of Israel and to see them through. While this Depression and anxiety hangs over your head, threatening to ruin your way of living. You must come to terms with a God who is willing and able to take you out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into Canaan. Take the first step towards God today.
I keep thinking about productivity. I keep thinking about what separates those of us who have “made it,” and those of us still short of making it. Sometimes we separate who we are and who we want to be. And in our depression we lose sight of the goals we once had, we become mundane creatures who conform to the problems that haunt our world. Depression is real, anxiety is real. It can be the silent death that falls upon us.
It’s time to escape. It’s time to make a change, make a difference. It’s time to turn our problems into the boat of resistance upon this rocky ocean. The last boat home.
It takes courage, it takes patience, and most of all, it takes resilience. Because each day that I wake up and accomplish something, I am one step closer to the victory. The finish line. The home plate. Each day I strive to smile and make the next right choice, I win.
And winning this battle, that is all that matter